"Just" a Mom

And what do you do?

It’s such a common question.

For a while, my answer was “Oh, I’m just a mom.”

Just a mom.

Like I was passing it off as not much, like I couldn’t possibly be busy. Like what I do isn’t important because I don’t have an official job title or paycheck.

As a college student I am asked all the time, so what do you want to do when you graduate? And part of me really wants to be able to answer that I'll be doing some high power executive work, as if it will make me a more valuable or interesting person to talk to because I am more and want to be more than just a mom.

Its something I know a lot of women around me want to do, "just be a mom" but they would never admit it to their professors and peers in classes. Wanting just to be a stay at home mom is something so many people feel embarrassed about when really
It’s not something to be ashamed of or something that should be said with an apologetic tone in my voice.

Being just a mom is what I want to be.

I cant fathom not being able to be there for every second of my son's life. I want to be the son to put him down for his morning naps, the one who cleans up after his messy "lunches" with peanut butter in my hair, the one who played with her son all morning and hasn't had the time to put make up on yet. To me that is life, that is love and that is what I want

At some point, Hubs and I figured I’ll go back to school and get my nursing degree when our youngest is in school full-time. But, that’s YEARS away. I’m thankful for now to be able to share all the little moments with my son.

So, I’ll stay just a mom for a while longer.

And be here for every moment: whether it’s the tough stuff or the sweet, frustrating, fun, repetitive, special, or every day. In my life as just a mom, I get to see it all.

I know that to some, that seems really boring: I assure you, I’m never bored. And to others, being just a mom is something they wish they could do: trust me when I say that it has taken a lot of sacrifice to make it possible.

Though what someone else thinks of my choice to be just a mom is their own opinion and doesn’t have anything to do with the choice that my family has made.

The choice that I’m completely happy with.

Even in the midst of last semester craziness when my boy wants to run around and forget about his naps all day, when my husband is working full time and finishing his last semester of college, and I don’t get a break- I know that the right choice for me is to be just a mom.

Babies and T.V.

Ok I don't want to get up on my soap box here but I felt it was important to blog about tv especially as parents now days are using it more and more with their babies and toddlers.

I have heard SO many people comment about how kids are never outside anymore. People saying "when I was young I was outside running around with my friends and kids these days don't do that anymore" And Its my firm belief that we are conditioning our kids from birth to sit there and watch tv.

American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies under age 2 watch no TV at all and toddlers older than 2 watch no more than an hour of Quality shows

A Quality show is Slower-paced viewing that gives your toddler time to think about what he's watching and absorb the information. Lots of action and quickly changing images will only confuse him or make his eyes glaze over.

A study done by the Kaiser Family Foundation found:
two-thirds of infants and toddlers watch a screen an average of 2 hours a day
kids under age 6 watch an average of about 2 hours of screen media a day, primarily TV and videos or DVDs
kids and teens 8 to 18 years spend nearly 4 hours a day in front of a TV screen and almost 2 additional hours on the computer (outside of schoolwork) and playing video games
REALLY? This is SICK people!

I can understand from time to time turning on the tv to give yourself a 10 minute break, we're all real people and need an escape sometimes but I think the tv is being abused by parents

Your child needs play time to develop physically, socially and emotionally, so take the time to give your child one and one attention, forget your laundry and cleaning the house to get on your knees and play yourself silly, your child will only be this small for so long.

Take your toddler to the park or just anywhere outside and show them the world you both deserve it!

"Just Wait"

Just read this and loved it! Made me cry! Sorry it's long!

As I wait at Target, a young couple pushes a stroller in the line behind me. The stroller, brand new, appears to be on its maiden voyage. I peer at the tiny sleeping newborn, his fingers curled up near his ruddy face.

“You guys do good work!” I comment. The parents beam with pride, but the weariness in their eyes lets me know that they are all still in the process of getting to know each other. The lady behind the couple glances at the stroller as well, and asks. “Is this your first?” They nod proudly. ”Just wait…” she snorts, and then follows with a comment about unruly teenagers.

Inwardly, I wince. We seem to live in a country overrun by a great lot of negative naysayers when it comes to parenting. I remember hearing comments like that when I was a new (and overwhelmed!) mom. It seemed that many parents were suffering from a chronic case of disappointment and dissatisfaction called ”Just-Wait-itis,” characterized by the inflammation of impending doom in parenthood….I felt trapped in a swirl of know-it-alls who were warning me that the worst was yet to come.

Of course, now that my kids are teenagers, I know the truth. Parenting is complicated; it’s wonderful and challenging. Exhausting and gut wrenching. Heart warming and heart breaking.

And, at the outset, parenting can be utterly daunting. It just doesn’t help when others douse young parents with stories leading to doubt and despair.

Instead, we seasoned moms could infuse joy into our “just waits…” As I regard this weary pair, I think of so many things I could say…

Just wait until your preschool son sees you in the hallway at pick up time and covertly grins and waves to you. (It’s the best flirting in the world.)

Just wait until you watch your kindergartener jump off the bus after that first day, triumphant and tired, melting into your arms.

Just wait until your son is up to bat, and strikes out, holding it together despite disappointment. And just wait until the crack of the bat meeting the ball surprises him and he races to first base…safe.

Just wait until your daughter stands up for a classmate who is struggling, and her peers, humbled, apologize.

Just wait until your child, painfully tethered to tubes and machines in the hospital, whispers, “I just want my mommy.” (and you are suddenly aware that your presence is more powerful than any prescription.)

Just wait until your son gets his very first summer job and he is, unmistakably, walking taller and more confidently as a result.

Just wait until your child’s quick sense of humor makes you double over with laughter.

Just wait until you hear your son invite a friend to church.

Just wait until your daughter receives her first college acceptance and you find yourself overcome with tears…not because she’s leaving, but because she’s ready.

The baby in the stroller whimpers, breaking my reverie.

I smile at the couple and look them straight in the eye.

“You have so much joy ahead of you…” I remark…

“Just wait.”

Complications

It seems like most every pregnancy has complications associated with it. I wanted to give some advice about how to handle the stresses that complications can cause.

Most Importantly Remember that these complications are not your fault!!!

I had such a smooth sailing pregnancy, barely sick or uncomfortable at all and I really enjoyed being pregnant. Well I went in for my 36 week appointment only to find that my belly had not grown in the month since my last appointment. We went in for ultrasounds and testing to find out that the placenta was just really crappy and he wasn't getting all the nutrients he needed to continue to get even bigger. I was then put on bed rest for a week and a half until finally at 37.5 weeks of pregnancy I was induced.

At that appointment my doctor took me into her office and scared the crap out of me, I think she wanted me to be realistic about what was happening and to know that it was serious but the way she told me was hard to handle. The week and a half following was pure torture, counting all of his movements all day long and trying to eat as much as I could to get more to him...

In short It was awful

The best way to handle complications is to not worry as
Stress takes energy and strain on the baby

Easy to say hard to do right?

My advice: REST ALOT, invite a friend over to keep your mind off things, get netflixs and watch a whole season or 2 or 5 of your favorite tv. show.. basically do anything you can to keep your mind off things and make time pass more quickly.

Try to keep perspective if your on bed rest for a month think about how big a month is in reference to your whole life thus far, its not long right? you can do it!

Are you in Labor?

Some women just "know" they are in labor while others do not. Throughout my pregnancy I was worried about how to know when I was in labor and how to know when exactly to go to the hospital, but as I've mentioned I ended up being induced and didn't have to worry about that after all!

So signs of labor include:
Lightening (baby moves down, this will make you have to pee ALOT)
Passing of the mucus plug (may be clear, pink or bloody)
Contractions (regular hardening of your uterus) Real labor gets progressively mroe painful!
Water breaking (you will know.... haha)
Effacement and dilation of the cervix

**Note if your water breaks you will be having the baby in the next 24 hours!

So then you might wonder when you should go to the hospital and the answer is when you think you are in active labor which is usually characterized by strong contractions that last 45 to 60 seconds and occur 3 to 4 minutes apart.

If you aren't sure your in active labor click here to check out characteristics of true labor!

My biggest piece of advice to offer is this: if you truly think you are in labor call your doctor or go to labor and delivery and have them check you out. If it turns out its not labor yet, there's no reason to be embarrassed and if you are CONGRATULATIONS!!

Bringing Baby Home

HOLY COW! This is it, you finally got to hold your sweet baby in your arms and now you get to take him/her home!!!!


Now what?!

For me well I thoroughly enjoyed my hospital stay and was nervous and scared to take my son home and be %100 responsible for his care! I knew all the basics of child care and thought of myself as knowledgeable if anything were to go wrong what this moment can tend to be intimidating!

One thing I recommend is to have someone come stay with you and help, for me is was my mom! What would I have done without her!!

She cooked for us, cleaned up after us, I could bring my screaming baby to her when I was too exhausted to even think.... in short it was the best choice I ever made to invite her to stay with us!

If you have time, before you go to the hospital do a thorough cleaning of your house, trust me you'll be so happy to walk into a spotless home when your a nervous wreck about keeping your baby healthy.

Also make mass amounts of your families favorite meals for the weeks precluding the birth and freeze it! You will save yourself hundreds of dollars worth of take out and be eating healthy!

And finally... ENJOY this time! You will never have this baby as small again so enjoy all the little moments. Don't worry about hair or make up just spend as much time as you can being with your new little one, the time will pass much to quickly


Cuddle often. Smile much and love always.

Exercise during Pregnancy

Just do it!
Don't tell yourself that you are pregnant so you no longer need to eat right or exercise! Pretty much everyone I know quit exercising while they were pregnant and they all wish they had continued!

Maintaining a regular exercise routine throughout your pregnancy can help you stay healthy and feel your best. Regular exercise during pregnancy can improve your posture and decrease some common discomforts such as backaches and fatigue. There is evidence that physical activity may prevent gestational diabetes (diabetes that develops during pregnancy), relieve stress, and build more stamina needed for labor and delivery.- Web MD.

Now I can only tell you what my doc told me. This may not apply to everyone so on your first appointment discuss with your doctor what exercises you can do and what not to do. I have always been active and exercised regularly so my doctor advised me to continue doing what I was doing. The ONLY thing she told me not to do was squats with weights!


The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology recommends 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise per day on most if not all days of the week, unless you have a medical or pregnancy complication.

Here are some exercises that are optimal for preggers
swimming
brisk walking
indoor stationary cycling
step or elliptical machines
and low-impact aerobics (taught by a certified aerobics instructor).

Things I did where: Zumba the whole time and loved it, weight lifting and moderate jogging

Just please remember Your pregnant, not terminally ill! Sleeping and sitting on the couch all day isn't good for you and it certainly isn't good for your baby. Get up and get moving, not only will you feel better but your baby will have many benefits such as a stronger heart when it is born!
Click here to see 7 great benefits for exercise during pregnancy!

Pregnancy Weight gain

Pregnancy weight gain is a topic on most every pregnant woman's mind! I found this sweet little calculator to help you know how much weight you should gain based on your height and pre-pregnancy weight!

But Babycenter.com tells us that the idea is this:

If your pre-pregnancy weight was in the healthy range for your height (a BMI of 18.5 to 24.9), you should gain between 25 and 35 pounds, gaining 1 to 5 pounds in the first trimester and about 1 pound per week for the rest of your pregnancy for the optimal growth of your baby.

If you were underweight for your height at conception (a BMI below 18.5), you should gain 28 to 40 pounds.

If you were overweight for your height (a BMI of 25 to 29.9), you should gain 15 to 25 pounds. If you were obese (a BMI of 30 or higher), you should gain between 11 and 20 pounds.

If you're having twins, you should gain 37 to 54 pounds if you started at a healthy weight, 31 to 50 pounds if you were overweight, and 25 to 42 pounds if you were obese.

Now don't go and freak out if you are not exactly within this range. I had a weird experience with my weight gain while pregnant. I only gained like 3 lbs for up to 25 weeks but by the end of my pregnancy I had gained 22 lbs. I tried to eat like crazy but I sure didn't look like it. I ended up having a problem with my placenta where it wasn't growing at the rate it should have and ended up with a 5.5 lb healthy baby in the end.

Boy or Girl??

That is the question on everyone's mind!!

I was dying from the second I found out I was pregnant to see what we were having. It just didn't seem real until I knew whether it was a boy or girl, until I could start fantasizing about baby names or his/her future.

Early on I just knew we were having a boy. I can't tell you what it was but call it mothers intuition. I was so overly excited I had literally gotten boy clothes and a huge Cars (the Disney movie) dresser by 12 weeks or so... ya I'm that girl!

When i went in for my check up at 14 weeks my Midwife told me I could schedule my ultrasound for anytime after 18 weeks.... bummer! I was dying to find out so I checked out my options.

I live in Southern Utah.. a short 3 hours from Vegas where all your dreams come true (or go up in flames) So I searched for a "Fetal Fotos" in Salt Lake or Vegas. Imagine my surprise when a ton of hits came up for Vegas. I started researching these places and they seem legit. They offered 50+ pictures of the ultrasound, a movie of the whole thing set to music of your choosing and gender identification all for only 50 dollars!

Now if you are going to do this make sure that the ultrasound technicians are licensed and that the company offers a guarantee for the Gender ID. But all in all it was an awesome experience I will most likely repeat with all my children. It was a mini vacation and Gender reveal all in one!